Where Are The Men?

I’ve heard a few statistics of late that have left me scratching my head and asking “What’s up with men in the Church?” or better yet “Where are the men?”.

Consider these numbers:

• Nearly 80% of the population of the Church is either female or under age 18.
• In the recent missionary surge from roughly 55,000 missionaries to nearly 90,000 missionaries the majority of that additional 40,000 missionaries are women.
• In any given ward there is nearly a 70/30 ratio of women to men (active).

As I thought about these statistics I asked myself: Why are men not coming to church? Why are men not being active at church and often falling away from the church in such large numbers?  As I considered this, it occurred to me that we have (as a Church) actively and subconsciously driven men away.  Our actions, words and activities methodically chase men away from Church in droves.

Rise of the Un-MEN

By now I’m sure that nearly everyone has heard the statistics.  The ones that put numbers to the increasing failures of the male gender.  We are being outperformed by women on all fronts; education, profession, religion and being responsible adults.  What gives? 

I even read recently that the oft touted statistic that women earn 77 cents for every dollar that men earn may not be all that true and that reality is that women soon will be earning as much as 8% more than men!

Boys are failing on an epic scale!

Up front let me state that I’m all in favor of equality and I hope I do not come across as slighting women in any way with what I’m going to say here.  The success that women are having is well earned and deserved, they have worked hard and sacrificed a lot to achieve it (men take note…this is the formula for success).

I also firmly believe that we play very specific gender roles for a reason and that it all part of a divine plan.

More and more it seems that men are opting to forgo the role of the breadwinner to stay home and let mom fulfill the divinely appointed role of protector, provider & presiding for their family.  Is it any wonder that men are reporting increases in reporting depression, anxiety and suicide?  When a man isn’t living up to his divine potential he cannot be satisfied and he cannot feel good about himself. 

On average men now spend more time in the bathroom grooming themselves than women do, spending nearly as much as women on cosmetic and beauty products.

Men today even produce less testosterone (the chemical that makes us men) and each generation declines even further.  Literally making us less and less manly with each passing generation. We are very LITERALLY becoming more feminine.

What really scares me:

The Courage to Repent

I had started to write an article on the power of repentance…but then I read this article that seems to say it so much better than I can.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/college-football/news/20130925/spencer-hadley-byu/

If you have not read this…I STRONGLY encourage you to.  Whatever your feelings about BYU football are (I’m a UTE fan)…this is a fantastic example of the atonement at work.  The kid messed up…he’s trying to repent. I’m sure he’s hugely embarrassed and what’s more, he’s having to do all this in a spotlight.  He’s just starting the repentance process, but it appears that he’s on the right path.

I received and email from a young man asking me which branch of the armed forces I'd join if I wanted to become a Special Operations Force Warrior.  I decided that the answer would make a good post.  So I share it here for everyone to read...

Cameron,

Your email made me really pause and think.  Since I’ve never served in the military the only loyalty I feel is to people I’ve known, not to any branch of service.

There are many great resources available to research and learn all about different Special Operations Forces.  I especially enjoy the work of Dick Couch as he served as a Navy SEAL and was allowed unprecedented access to many schools of training, and his books are priceless if you want to learn about the process of becoming a real warrior.  Many recruiting offices can also hook you up with a mentor who’s ‘been there’ and can guide you.

I personally know men who are or were: Green Berets, Navy SEALS, Army Rangers, Air Force Special Ops, RECON Marines, and your average, every day, soldier.  I have been impressed by them all.  Each is unique in their mission and each serves our country with honor and courage.

Thinking About Warriors...

In my estimation, when talking about warriors, there are two very distinct groups of warriors.

One warrior is the kind who fights a physical enemy, the one who can harm and kill our physical bodies.  The second warrior is the one who fights on a more spiritual plane.  This is the warrior who steps in to stand between Heavenly Father’s children and the forces of Satan who wish to tear us down. 

The first kind of warrior is the typical image we think of when we hear the word ‘warrior’.  The Navy SEAL, the Green Beret, the fighter pilot, the police officer, etc.  His job is two-fold, to bring ultimate destruction to his enemy and to do all he can to protect his own people.  This warrior goes out to fight so that others don’t have too.  He is the main force standing between the threats to his country and those he loves at home.  He will sacrifice his physical body so that others don’t have to experience pain.

“People sleep peacefully in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf” – George Orwell

The ATTACK

In this article I outlined the basics of ‘the Battle’ that we fight on a daily basis to do what is right, to face life’s challenges and to overcome weakness’ that we are hounded by.  Today I’d like to focus on step one of HOW to fight those battles, the Attack, and give you some insight as to how we fall prey to the lies, deceptions and constant attacks of our common adversary.

First off, let me state that this is not a product of my own thought.  The original concept was developed by a well respected Licensed Professional Councilor who does a LOT of great work to help men defeat sex and pornography addictions.  His information can be found at www.sonsofhelaman.org and I’ve enjoyed my association with him immensely. His knowledge of the science of brain chemistry combined with some great spiritual insight is the inspiration for this idea. 

I also owe a lot to a very close friend who helped me take these ideas and refine them a bit to apply to all our daily battles, not just those dealing with the Law of Chastity (though I feel pretty confident that a great many men have struggles with this law in various forms…, whether they want to admit it or not).  He also helped me to establish gospel doctrinal basis’ for every concept taught in this information.

If you missed the post on WHY WE FIGHT, I suggest you read that first so you can understand why the Lord refers to us as “warriors” and why we face the drastic choice of “Fight or Die”.

With that introduction: let’s talk about The Attack!

The Battle

(The following article is Part 1 in a series on the spiritual battles we fight and how to win them.  There is a presentation that goes with it, and when I finish the series I'll make the presentation available)

THE BATTLE - Why We Fight!

LDS-SOF - Becoming Warriors 

Every day, we are faced with personal battles. Struggles, difficulties, choices and consequences.  We have options to control our destiny, or to be blown about by 'circumstance'.

Stoicism...

OK…so I’ve been mulling this around for some time…Elder D. Todd Christofferson’s talk from General Conference (Brethren We Have Work To D) was a very powerful one to me.  It echoes many sentiments that I’ve written about here on my blog.  It was thrilling to me to hear his words and feel a small sense of validation.  I can’t tell you how many times as I’ve tried to talk about these very issues, and people have said “If this is so important, why aren’t the brethren talking about it?”…WELL…

One thing in particular that I can’t seem to get out of my head, was this quote:

“Today, however, with women moving ahead in an advanced economy, provider husbands and fathers are now optional, and the character qualities men had needed to play their role—fortitude, stoicism, courage, fidelity—are obsolete and even a little embarrassing.”

Those four attributes that he lists piqued my curiosity: Fortitude, Stoicism, Courage, Fidelity.  What do these words mean? Why do they matter? How do they define men? And ultimately, how do we put them into practice?

General Conference October 2012

OK..this is a quick post, and I'll have more thoughts on this in latter posts, but I've got to say that I LOVED all of what I heard and felt during Conference. 

Some messages that especially resonated with me were the Priesthood Session talk by D. Todd Christofferson, the Sunday AM talk by Jeffery R. Holland and the first talk of the conference by Quentin L. Cook.  All amazing talks! I can't wait to listen to them some more and read the words.  I always learn more as I revisit them.

Elder Christofferson's talk seems to fit right in with the overarching message of this blog.  Rise and be Men that the Lord can trust!

NO FEAR - NO WHINING - NO REGRETS

Random Thoughts

Today I’d like to address a few random thoughts that I’ve had rolling around for some time, but haven’t been able to make a full, coherent post out of…

Random thought #1 - The hijacking of the word VIRTUE by the YW program of the Church.  I mean no disrespect by this, but I wonder if anyone has actually looked up the definition of the word? We hear a lot these days about the “Return to Virtue”…but what does that really mean?

vir•tue - [vur-choo]: from L. virtutem (nom. virtus) "moral strength, manliness, valor, excellence, worth," from vir "man"
noun
1. moral excellence; goodness; righteousness.
2. conformity of one's life and conduct to moral and ethical principles; uprightness; rectitude.
3. chastity; virginity:
4. a particular moral excellence.
5. a good or admirable quality or property:
6. effective force; power or potency:
7. virtues, an order of angels.
8. manly excellence; valor.

Virtue is a very manly word…quite possibly one of the MOST MANLY words around.  Why? Well, the root VIR is Latin for MAN…and the word is literally the definition of a manly man.  To be a man of virtue is to have the highest regard of manliness. It defines a man as noble, respected, righteous, honorable, courageous in battle and trustworthy.  In ancient Rome, and man who was described as “VIRTUS” was akin to royalty.  Only the bravest and most noble in a man bestowed this title upon him.

Putting on the Armor of God

Among my favorite topics to discuss with my fellow warriors are the scriptures teaching us the all important principle of putting on the ‘Armor of God’ (Ephesians 6:11-18 and D&C 27:15-18).  This is no small topic and one that can fill volumes with gospel discussions.  There are some key elements for Latter Day Warriors that I’d like to point out, then I’d encourage you to prayerfully study these passages to find the personal meanings for yourself.

Of course the real world metaphor is that any warrior going to battle would never do so without his armor. A good warrior knows the value of defensive/offensive armor. Failure to properly fit, maintain, and utilize armor would result in severe injury or loss of life.  Putting on armor is not just a one-time action.  It requires constant training, conditioning, practice and skill.  I can’t just hand you a sword, helmet, breastplate, shield, etc… and say “Go to battle!”  You must first practice with this armor, and practice a lot! (Alma 46:21 think about how the Nephites come RUNNING with their armor ON...what that means in terms of preparation...)  You have to keep your armor in good condition and be comfortable with its use. In a similar fashion, you can’t wait until a crisis strikes before you start to practice with your armor.  It must be a habit well before you actually need it. It is often said that the best warriors are the best trained warriors.  SEAL’s, RECON Marines, Green Berets…you name them, they all train constantly so that when the call to action comes they are truly ready. (I’ve read where SEAL’s train with real bullets because of the slight difference in weight, recoil and smell than blanks.  They go through more ammo in training than other units combined.  All to practice so that when they have to use it for real, they know what they are doing.)

One lesson to be taken from this scripture is that we should be preparing as warriors in a very spiritual sense on a daily basis, just like real world warriors do.  We can’t expect to win battles with our adversary without this knowledge and the daily practice of it.  As we strive to become warriors, a key element in this progression is to put on our armor and use it. How do we do this? Simply put, it’s living those basic gospel principles on a daily, weekly, monthly basis.  Daily personal and family prayer, regular scripture study, going to our Church services, being a Latter-Day Saint in all that we do, but this isn’t all…these things have to be done in earnest.  We can’t put in a half-hearted effort here, just like Navy SEALS in training, it’s all or nothing. It isn’t enough to just pray etc…but we must Search, Ponder and Pray.  We must ask questions and seek honest and sincere answers.  We must exercise our priesthood in a manful way and we must “walk uprightly before God” (Alma 1:1). In our daily actions.  In short…we need to be sheepdogs, actively looking for weakness and fortifying it with diligence, faith and conviction, putting down evil and wickedness wherever we go. Like true warriors, we must always be “ON” and ready for action.

Feminization

Today I’d like to address a topic that has been rolling around in my head for years.  This is not intended to belittle any gender or principle taught at Church…simply an observation that we might be slightly off in some of our beliefs (not doctrine…just the traditional way in which it is presented).

What I’d like to talk about is the feminization of the gospel and the subsequent effect on men.

To help illustrate my thoughts, let me tell you a story.

A few months back we took all our YM (12-18) up in the canyon to have a Duty to God activity.  As I’ve stated before in my posts, I’m conducting an experiment where every six months, we have an activity and issue a challenge to work on the Duty to God, with a reward to follow in the next six months.   This was such an activity.  As part of that activity I told a story about the race to the south pole from a post that I read here (art of manliness) We had some fun with it and to be honest, by the appearance of the boys, I thought it went in one ear and out the other.  They were fidgety, they were not looking at me…I figured it was gone.

Well, last Sunday, the guy who was supposed to teach the Deacon’s Quorum couldn’t be there so the Deacon’s Quorum President (who happens to be my son) asked if I could come and visit the quorum, tell that ‘South Pole’ story again and teach about the Duty to God program.  The Deacon’s Quorum has recently had an influx of about 6 boys and they have no idea what the Duty to God program is, or how to do it, so I thought he had a good idea.

Since half of the quorum had heard the story, I picked on them to help me tell it (also to see what they retained).  I was truly shocked at the details they could recall, and the lessons learned that night six months ago.  They rattled off to me details of the story that I had forgotten.  It was amazing.  The lesson was a rousing success because the boys taught each other…I did very little.

Call of Duty: Spiritual Warfare

Ahhh…wasn’t General Conference great? I always look forward to the re-charge I get as a I sit and ‘feast’ on the words of prophets (as well as on snacks and goodies that are a conference tradition in my home).  I am always spiritually refreshed following conference weekend.

I had a thought that I wanted to run by you all as I review some of my conference notes and mussings. One in particular that I keep coming back to is President Monsen’s “Call of Duty” talk.

From a Real SEAL

On Being A Warrior

The following is a section of an article written by a former Navy SEAL named Mark Divine who runs a fitness program called SEAL Fit (www.sealfit.com).  These are his thoughts on being a warrior:

You don't have to join the Navy and become a SEAL to develop a warrior mind set and operate at a level of awareness and power that is uncommon.

The term "WARRIOR" comes with a lot of baggage. Many assume that one has to be a "combat fighter" to be a warrior. Certainly most elite military and first response "sheepdogs" (there is an upcoming post on ‘sheepdogs’) are true warriors and walk the talk.

The Need for Priesthood Warriors

Now that I’ve got this blog looking the way I want it and I’ve had a chance to post a couple of thoughts, I figured it was time for me to establish the WHY for this whole endeavor…or what I simply call:

THE BATTLE CRY

Be warned…this might sting a little (or a lot)…so don’t say I didn’t warn ya.

I have observed a disturbing trend among men lately and simply put, it is that we are incredibly lazy…and not in a good way. 

LDS SEAL's?

Why Warriors?

"But, Bro. Peters, aren’t warriors blood-thirsty killers & adrenaline junkies that get a thrill out of hurting people?"

Well...NO…they are not.

Let me tell you a personal story.

In my line of work, I have to occasion to work with members of the United States Military organizations.  Across the board I have been impressed with the level of professionalism, respect and genuine kindness they have shown to me and my co-workers.  They are some of the finest people I’ve ever met.  I sincerely wish that more of us would be like them.

Visit from a General

Last night I had the chance to attend an awesome priesthood meeting and listen to some choice words from Major General Brain Tarbot, Adjunct General of the Utah National Guard & an awesome Priesthood Warrior.  He spoke to us about putting on the Armor of God and told stories about his service and the fine young men that he has worked with over the years.  It was a truly inspirational evening.  Some of the highlights that he shared were:

• He spoke about real armor on people, vehicles and fortifications then compared that to the spiritual armor that we must dress in daily.
• He shared his insights on war and what we learn about it from the Book of Mormon.